It’s that time of the year again: Bachelorette season. We’ve already seen the men stepping out of the limo. Someone already went home after a dramatic revelation (I mean, come on DeMario.) The first half of Week 3 was already crazy with Blake and Whaboom’s fight, and the drama’s just starting. There are so many men, it’s hard to keep track. In order to keep track of the remainders, we’ve brought you a list of what cigars they would smoke based on their personalities. Who will Rachel choose to give her heart to? If you really want to know, Reality Steve has the deets. If not, post your prediction in the comments!
Remaining Bachelorette Contenders
This goes to all of you who are about to ride along on this journey of mine. I'm excited to share my first experience tonight on ABC 8pm Central/8pm PST. Get ready! | @bacheloretteabc #thebachelorette #bachelornation #teamadam #beardownforthebachelorette
A post shared by Adam Gottschalk (@adam_gottschalk) on
Adam, 27, is a real-estate agent from Dallas. He exited the limo accompanied by his doll, Adam Jr. It was pretty creepy. He’s a playful guy, so he would smoke a Vanilla Macadamia Petit Corona. This cigar is flavored for the man who’s not too serious about anything, including cigars. Its small size reduces the smoking time to about 30 minutes, so it doesn’t require a full commitment to smoking. Uh oh, Rachel, he probably can’t commit to women either.
A post shared by Alex Bordyukov&ValentinoJSmith (@tinobordy) on
Alex is 28, from Grosse Pointe Park, Michigan, AKA he’s from Detroit, he just doesn’t want to say it. He works as an Information Systems Supervisor, whatever that means. He’s got a great body so he would smoke an equally built cigar: Montecristo Epic Toro. This is a full-bodied cigar with a very strong flavor which can press the same weight as Alex. They’re meant to be. Like Alex, the cigar has subtle flavors that appear in layers. The more time you spend with them, the better they get.
Originally from Chicago, Anthony just experienced a little bit of the South riding down Rodeo Drive on horses in cowboy boots and a hat. He was adaptable to Rachel’s crazy date. The Robust CN5 is perfect for Anthony. It has 5 different types of tobacco to adapt to any situation. It’s smooth and mellow, very easy going for the very chill guy.
Brady wants to be a male model and aspires to be Channing Tatum with a hot bod and hot wife. He’s pretty superficial, so he gets the Rocky Patel Vintage 1990 Toro. This cigar is only slightly overrated with its sleek appearance. The flavor isn’t distinguishable from the cigar brand’s other line, kind of like how Brady isn’t distinguishable from most of the guys in the house.
Nervous, excited, anxious, confident, terrified etc etc… such a mixed bag of emotions for me on this night, but when it was all said and done it turned out to be one of the funniest and most memorable of my life #thebachelorette #season13 #openingnight #gobigorgohome #imgoinin #305 #miamistandup Tune in tonight at 9pm on ABC!!!
A post shared by Dr. Bryan Abasolo (@thebryanabasolo) on
Bryan is very smooth on camera. He was the first to kiss Rachel and receive the first-impression rose. Since then, he’s managed to kiss her many times. Bryan deserves a kissably smooth cigar such as the Briarmont Classic Habano. This cigar is impeccably smooth and appreciated by aficionados and novices, kinda like Bryan. This perfect pair will surprise you with their ability to make you love them.
Bryce is not that interesting so far. We haven’t seen him much and he hasn’t caused any drama. The most interesting thing about him is that his biggest fear is that a partner will be trans, which does not put him in a good light. Therefore, he gets the Macanudo Cafe Lords cigar! This cigar is very mild and popular among aficionados. Like Bryce, nothing really explains why it keeps getting picked. Maybe the Bachelorette will show us soon, but for now Bryce is mild and forgettable.
Excited to *officially* announce that I'll be one of 31 lucky men fighting for the heart of the amazing @therachlindsay on @thebachelorette – my only request; if (when) you decide to publicly ridicule me, you must do so in traditional Haiku format #thebachelorette #bachelorette … I just wish I looked as good as @iggy_rodriguez does in his bio pic #wedgesalad
A post shared by Dean Unglert (@deanie_babies) on
If his Instagram handle didn’t already tell you, the sandcastles he wanted to build should. Dean is just very immature. He’s one of the younger Bachelorette contestants at 26 and definitely needs to age some more before he catches Rachel’s heart. The Romeo y Julieta 1875 cigar is often recommended to new smokers. Once people try more advanced cigars, they don’t go back. Dean is the same. He needs to get some complexity if he wants to win Rachel’s heart against the much better contestants like Alex and Diggy.
#SmileFridays Laughter is medicine and smiling is pleasant, BUT women are the truth! So embrace the women in your life because it's Women Over Everything! ALL SMILES! #smile #whatspositive #inspiration #teameric #bachelorette #bacheloretteabc #itsmiracleseason
A post shared by Eric Bigger (@ericbigger) on
Eric is a personal trainer who’s already starting drama with this season’s resident bad guy, Lee Garrett. Rachel has publicly commended Eric for being honest and upfront. This earns him the 601 La Bomba Warhead II cigar. This cigar is one of the strongest out there. The cigar starts with a bite and remains overeager. Aficionados describe it as “in your face,” which also applies to Eric.
Well, @bacheloretteabc did a real nice job of teeing up next week! Hopefully @therachlindsay will hand me another one of these. Looks like we'll have to wait a week to find out…#thebachelorette #tilnextweek #imagooddadiswear
A post shared by iggy_rodriguez – S13 | (@iggy_rodriguez) on
Iggy is sweet and sensitive. His cigar is the Isla del Sol Toro, a sweet tipped cigar with strong notes of java. It’s the perfect pick me up, which it looks like Iggy will be next week. Both are pleasant and mild, just waiting for you to notice them.
A post shared by Jack Stone (@jackjstone) on
Jack is also a lawyer who is really into playing games. He had a hot makeout session with Rachel off-camera last week, suggesting some hot and heavy stuff went down. The perfect cigar for Jack is the Norteno Robusto Grande. It has a full-bodied, lush flavor and a very good looking exterior. It has chocolate and nougat but isn’t very sweet. Jack also has sweet aspects but instead of playing them up, he just gives off sex appeal.
Jonathan and Rachel had a date this week involving giant hands. He self-describes as a tickle monster, explaining the hands. He has a really good humor, if he’s a little strange. Likewise, the CAO America Potomac cigar is one of the most unique cigars on the market. It starts out mild and become full-bodied, building up in a completely unexpected way. Everything about this cigar will surprise you, just like a tickle monster.
A post shared by Josiah Graham (@josiahdgraham) on
Josiah is my personal favorite contender. He may not be the hottest, but he’s got the personality to push him ahead. He is also a lawyer, often working pro bono cases. He’s a little overconfident, but he’ll need that to succeed on the Bachelorette. The Briarmont Limited Sun Grown Habano is the finest cigar for the finest contestant. It’s full-bodied and complex flavor fits right in with Josiah’s life. Together, they will give you a great experience and prove that they are worthy of love.
A post shared by Diggy Moreland (@diggymoreland) on
Diggy is by far the most stylish guy this season, maybe ever. He’s always dressed to impress, showcasing his great sense of fashion. The My Father Flor de Las Antillas also always looks good. This cigar has a red, metallic cap that matches the band to present an elegant looking cigar. It’s masterfully constructed like Diggy’s wardrobe.
A post shared by kenny king (@kennykingpb2) on
Kenny is winning hearts as the single dad on the Bachelorette this season. He clearly loves his daughter on the show, although I have to ask why he left her for months to be on the show if he loves her so much. He’s also a wrestler which makes him seem kind of savage. The Occidental Reserve Robusto cigar moves from sweet to spicy, capturing all of Kenny’s qualities.
Lee’s name has been mentioned a lot recently as some of his racist, sexist, bigot tweets have come to light. He also got into a huge fight with Eric last week, making him the frontrunner for this season’s Bachelorette Villain. Lee can’t handle anything that’s not as white as he is, so he gets La Flor Dominicana Double Claro No. 42. This cigar is so light, it almost looks white. It’s perfect for Lee who will undoubtedly be causing more drama next week.
Matt is an underdog this season. He hasn’t done anything remarkable yet, but he just might surprise you. Like Matt, the Briarmont Reserve Habano will surprise you. Often described as the best Cuban cigar that’s not made in Cuba, this cigar is pure quality. It will quickly become your favorite cigar, you just don’t know it yet.
Every year, so many Bachelorette contestants are personal trainers. And Peter is no different! His gap tooth does make him stand out, increasing his attractiveness by at least five points. Peter is pure looks like the Gurkha Beauty cigar. It’s a mild cigar that’s crafted more on appearance than quality of smoke.
A post shared by William Gaskins (@thereal_billyg) on
This guy exited the limo in full Steve Urkel gear. His humor is on point and he’s not nerdy at all. He’s a bit of a novelty this season, like the Gurkha Spec Ops cigar which comes with a knife and military coin in the box. Still, the cigar surprises with its quality. It’s not just a gimmick. It produces a quality smoke, as well.
Some wonderful person out there made this cake for my b-day today!.. Welp, guess it's just a #whaBoom kind of birthday for me and my twin brother @ncyancey!!! … Feel the Rhythm, Feel the Vibes, it's #WhaBoomTyme!!! … oh and two words of advice .. always #LetTheBigDoggEat and just #WhaaaBoooom it up!! Argrhrghrrrrrghghgrghrr(a sensual growling sound made during most occasions) ———————— #birthday #birthdaytyme #thebachelorette #teamwhaboom #thebacheloretteabc #bachelornation #bachelorette #bachelorfans #bachelorfamily #whaBoomtyme #picoftheday #friends #family #love ❤️❤️❤️
A post shared by Lucas Yancey (Mr. WhaBoom) (@lucas.yancey) on
How could I write a post on The Bachelorette season 13 without talking about Whaboom Guy (AKA Lucas). He’s so extra, he gets the most extra cigar possible. A Custom Tobacco chocolate cigar with a customized band that reads, “Whaboom!” This “cigar” is perfect for the cheap guy like Lucas.
Who will be next to go home on The Bachelorette?